Starting New

“Time is free, but it’s priceless.  You can’t own it, but you can use it.  You can’t keep it, but you can spend it.  Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back."

I'm SO incredibly excited about this blog post.  Flipping over a new leaf with minimal social media.  February is going to be a new clean start and I can't wait.  So here it goes I'm super excited about it!

I no longer have an active Facebook account.  This may only last a few days or it may last forever, I'm not sure.  I spend so much time on Facebook that I'm going to be shocked at how much time I have on my hands now. 

I feel so good about this, and I feel like I'm on the way to a healthier lifestyle: no stress, no social media, spending time with loved ones and having quiet time to myself. 

I hope this finds everyone happy and healthy.

Until next time.

Kay

Getting rid of the stress.

The past few days have been incredibly rough for me.  I've been trying to deal with so many things and adding to my already stressed life.  I don't like holding things against people, or being upset with people I'm close to and I have been both of those and more towards my sister the past few days. Last night I got violently ill, and couldn't stop throwing up I was so stressed.  I've not been handeling the news that my 18 year old sister, and her boyfriend of 7/8 months are pregnant.

I ALWAYS dreamed of being the first sibling in my family to have a baby, and bring the first grandchild into our family.  I've honestly been thinking about it and how exciting it was going to be in the next few (meaning 3-4) years to bring home the first grandchild.  This may sound childish silly but I can't think of any reason why I shouldn't be upset. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and excited for my sister, I know she is going to be a great mother.  I'll be there for everything, and I dare someone to tell me otherwise.  I just can't deal with the drama.

So as of tomorrow, 1/31/13, I am deleting my facebook.  That's where 90% of the drama is coming from and I, for obvious reasons, can't handle it.  I'm going to keep up with my blog and post daily/weekly.  I'm not sure if I'm going to permentaly delete it from my life, but I'm excited to start Feburary clean; no drama. 

I can't continue to be so stressed about everything.  It's making me sick, and not wanting to eat.  What ever happens, I know GOD is in control and I have to continue to believe that it's all going to work. 

I appreciate as many prayers as I can get.

Until next time...

Kay

The black cloud

I'm frustrated.

I'm hurt.

I'm depressed.

I need to let off steam and clear some things off of my already over flowing plate.

I need something good to happen asap and in order to do so, I really am going to have to make some changes and fast. 

I need to cry.

I'm trying to see the good in life right now, but it's over powered by the bad.

I feel like I'm getting sick, and my wisdom teeth are killing me.

I'm sorry this is such a crazy post.

I hope to my next post is going to be much happier, and more like myself.

Until next time....

Kay

Hitting a Wall

Since turning twenty nearly four months ago, I feel like I've reconsidered every aspect of my life.  Turning twenty really made me rethink things, and made me realize that life is short.  I've got to do what I want to do, not what others want me to do. 

I'm literally sitting in my living room fighting with myself to not write this blog, I have homework that needs to be done: I honestly just don't care if it gets done or not.  School is not my #1 priority, and it should be.  I've been miserable since I started college my freshman year, not really caring if I passed or not, just doing enough to skate by. That is sad... I pay for my college education, not my mom and dad, me. 

I'm not sure why I can't motivate myself to do better and want to strive to make good grades.  Don't get me wrong, my grades are not horrible, but they're not where they should be.

 I feel rushed to make a decision on what I want to do, because everyone around me is engaged, getting married, graduating college and being successful: here I am pouring my heart out to a computer screen. (sigh)

My grandmother used to say, "don't worry It'll all come out in the wash".  I now find myself wondering if she had any magic detergent because I feel like I've waited for it to come out in the wash more than once. 

I want to do something that I love, I want to go to work every day and enjoy myself, or even stay at home and raise my kids.  I know that God has a plan for me, and I'm just not being patient enough to see what he is trying to show me.  All I know is that I'm miserable in school, I really resent myself for a lot of things and I feel like I need to have everything figured out right now.

2013 is going to be a year of change and I'm so thankful that no matter how many times I fall on my face I know I have family, friends, and the most wonderful boyfriend in the world that will help me pick up the pieces and start again.  Life is like learning to ride a bike: I think I'm finally ready to take off my training wheels.